So I've decided to start doing Weight Watchers again. I had some success with it about five years ago, and decided it is now time to do it all over again. This is my first step towards my new life. I am getting myself ready for some big changes coming up; a move, my husband's job change, and being a full time student and mother of one, and hopefully trying for a second. There may even be house hunting in our near future. It's a lot to think about.
I have told myself that I won't be overweight when I get pregnant with my next child. During Journey's pregnancy I started out weighing 200 lbs, yikes! And although I could have had many more weight-related complications, and I am very thankful I didn't, I ran into enough issues that I don't want to repeat that experience. The biggest problem was that I never went into labor, not really, although I can't say definitively that weight was behind it, but I'm sure it didn't help. And since I didn't go into labor, I ended up in the hospital with a c-section, the complete opposite of the natural home birth I had planned. I was so hurt and disappointed that I'm only now, over 1 year later, starting to really think that I might go through it all again. But this time I will do it on my terms (as much as any birth can be on the mother's terms!).
And now, every Wednesday evening, I find myself weighing in after a week of writing down every tiny morsel that winds up in my mouth, and praying that the scale will work with me, just a little. I keep thinking about the next baby, and the birth I want. I keep picturing having the endurance to keep up with my daughter, as she is now just starting to walk, and will soon be running away from me far too quickly. I imagine being 31 (in a few days) and feeling that I look good for my age, instead of prematurely post-menopausal. So, with all these thoughts writhing through my brain, I tentatively step on the scale, and hold my breath for that infinitely long second, then exhale and smile. One week down, and another one in the shoot.
